the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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