the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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