I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
