I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
