RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
