So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
