Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
