wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
