im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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