I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
