i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
