i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
operation have a gay friend backfired
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize