Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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