Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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