After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
