drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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