I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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