her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
