Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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