How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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