found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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