the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
