So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
