Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're a waste of cheezeits
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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