how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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