i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
