I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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