Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
