Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
