I think I died a long time ago.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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