'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
