Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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