i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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