I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
