8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
