She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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