Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
