if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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