maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This is the high leading the old right now
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
