So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
