I wish you could order shots online.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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