His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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