i would punch a child for taco bell
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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