This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
