Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
