The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
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