At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
