RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
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