A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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