You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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