Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
