If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Jerry, you need to find god
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
