i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
sex in a hospital.. check
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
