do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
