some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
