We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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