trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize