i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
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spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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