Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
