Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
