im drinking this country out of the recession.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I love you.
Bad choice
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