1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
